Depressed

Whenever I read my post kat bawah tu, I thought to myself – ghee.. I sounded so depressed.

But really. I had to admit. These last few weeks mmg have been really testing. Testing kesabaran, testing ketahanan diri.. Mcm2 berlaku.. Whenever I thought things could never be worse, something else went wrong. And this went on…one thing after another. And what did I do amidst all that?

- I whined. I complained. I wallowed. I walked around as if mine is the biggest problem in the world and no one would ever understand.

And good did I achieve by doing all that?

- None. After I whine, I felt like whining some more. I complained –why does bad things always happen to me? And afterwards, I felt more depressed. I slept during the day, went to bed early at night, woke up late in the morning. Everything I need to do, went into my pending list. During the day, I walked around with the ‘ignore me-I had a bad day’ attitude. I put up frowned face all day long, and spread guilt around to my friends for not having the same problem– And made them all feel bad as a result.

And did my problems resolve?

- Hah! Definitely not! In fact, I felt worse myself. And that’s when I realized- oh God, what have I done? I should have buckle up and move forward. Problems don’t go by itself. They need to be tended. What I need to do was stay around and get my problems sorted – and after that only I realized that actually, things were not so bad after all..It was the mind game that made everything looked worse than it actually was.. and it was also the mind that could actually made all the hard things in life easy. And the most important thing that I had actually forgotten to do was.. to count my blessings. Even when most things in life had went into the drain, even when all things important seem to be lost – I still have a lot of other things with me. Its not the end of the world. Its not like I couldn’t get up and fix things up.
I just forgot to be grateful.

"True greatness is, start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can."

*sigh*